Single Mothers - The Backup Plan

The Backup Plan is a movie about a lady, who wants to attain motherhood. She watches her friend having four children and she wants to extend her family.

She asks one of her male friend for help. He declines saying he cannot sleep with her, as she is his friend. Also he is not too excited to get married and prefer to lie down with more women before he makes commitment. Anyhow, she gets herself impregnated from some sperm donor.

In the mean while she meets this guy in a cab. Actually she was hailing for a cab and while she got into it, so did another guy. She says to him, "Fine you take the cab I don't want you to spoil my nice time." The guy finds her attractive, gets curious about her " nice feeling", leaves the cab and follows her.

The reason for her, flying in the air, rosy feeling is because she just got herself pregnant.

Why are more and more women opting for single parenting?

Is it because they don't want to complicate their lives? Their belief that lifestyle would all get disturbed if you have a spouse around. They just could not find the perfect man or a woman with whom they feel that they can spend their lives together. Is it that they don't trust anyone any more to be around them all their lives?

Some women decide to be single mother because of their spouse early death. Then there are cases where the husbands leave their wives as they are having an affair, or taking Sanyasa. However the woman we are taking about is not a victim of any such circumstances. She decides to become a mother and raise children that would make her life complete.

Single parenting is a Herculean task. In India, the future of such women holds stigma, violence, and other social problems. Even after, being aware of the process more and more urban women are going for single parenthood. The urban lifestyle has made us independent in our own rights. We want to make money, own a house, customize a sofa-set and extend a family.

I know a friend who is in her early forties and wants to adopt a baby girl. I asked her, why do you want to adopt?

She answered saying that she would like to extend her family. Since, she has less scope of getting married the best thing that can happen is having children in the house. Since she is not ready with the option of getting herself impregnated through some sperm donor, so she wants to adopt a child.

Women have insecurity of their finance, their jobs and their spouse all their life. After going through such insecurity they would want to let go of that insecurity. They feel that the only way around to let go of that insecurity is by believing that nothing lasts forever. If you don't trust someone and don't expect anything from some you would be much happier.

Like in this movie, the lady is pregnant and also in love with the man. Whenever she finds him annoyed with the baby products or the frustration of being a father, she asks him to quit. Several times in the movie she asks him to let go if he is not ready.

The urban lifestyle has made some women so stiff towards any kind of affection. They want to remain in a bubble where everything is perfect, or rather customized. The lady had made savings for her future pregnancy. She had a house to raise children. She had joined a single mothers group. She was prepared to be a mother.

During the course of her pregnancy she is not able to see that the man was supportive of her. He took her to single mother classes, helped her selecting the right pram and other purchases. Every time she found her man to be in a state of dilemma, she asked him to leave saying "the door is open in front of you". It took her a lot of convincing from her grandmother and her friends to acknowledge that he actually loved her. That the relationship can stay forever. This movie have good endings.

Not every single parent is lucky to find a suitable match. But the important lesson to be learnt is that one needs to trust another to build a long-lasting relationship.

Editorial Team